Yesterday the deck of cards that is our life was completely reshuffled. After we heard the news about the biopsy showing Kamalashila has a different cancer than the specialists thought previously, we had a weekend of more fluids to help lower the calcium. KS became more weak and unwell and could not take more fluids. It was obvious something needed to happen to address the hypercalcemia. On Monday morning his phone rang and KS was offered an appointment with a haematologist. It turns out he has lymphoma, a blood cancer. He was admitted to hospital that morning and told he will likely stay there for two weeks. He will have tests and, if his body permits it, the first of a round of chemo. The doctor spoke of a good chance of remission.
As I am sitting here, glued to my chair, in some sort of daze, my body is demanding attention. I sense a vigorously beating heart, an internal shaking. Lots of tightness wanting to be loose. Another bat of an eyelid. Another swing of the pendulum. Everything is again wide open. Perhaps there may be a few plans for the future after all.
For now, words fail.
