Since Saturday KS has had three and a half litres of saline fluids inserted into his veins, plus an injection to take care of the hypercalcemia, and his bloods have been taken twice. He will have a scan soon. He is not feeling that great in many ways. In the meantime I have turned to domestic action. I am baking, washing, cleaning, cooking and tidying up. I am even ironing. I watched a few YouTube videos on how to iron a shirt. And then also one on how to clean an iron. What an improvement. These activities give me a sense of accomplishment and perhaps also a sense of being able to do something useful and practical for KS. Lots of boxes get ticked.
There is not much I can do for him in terms of how he feels. I can talk with him, listen, cuddle, do practical stuff for him. I can be good company. I can give him space, advice and encouragement. I can be around when the nurses visit. But I cannot take away his pain, exhaustion or overwhelm. And then, with this, I need to look after myself. I sense my agitation and open up to it. I touch in with despair and upset. I stay there for a while. Then I emerge again. And apart from turning towards household chores, I take walks, do some shopping, see a friend, read a book or visit a gallery. And various combinations of these components. We seem to be coping. But sometimes it all feels like quite a lot to deal with.
