Gathering thoughts

Weariness hangs around the flat. Plus lethargy. KS has a chest infection and started antibiotics today. He tires more easily now and the infection doesn’t help. It is evening and I try to gather my thoughts. To find perhaps some lucid ones, clustered together around a topic or a theme. But so far I am only finding that weariness: inside of me and around me. A sense of being drained.

I suspect I am not the jolliest person to be around at the moment. Luckily people do not seem to mind that much. I can remember that earlier in the year I took the decision to make this a year of cultivating joy. I am not doing too well with that. Although there are moments of joy in the day. These make everything softer. Lovely friends. Heartfelt messages and words. Coming across sweetly scented roses in the gardens lining the streets. Noticing the fall of light on walls in the dusk. The changing cloud formations in the sky. A sense of peace as I walk on the pavement in a quiet and straight street. An exchange of smiles with someone waiting at the same counter. KS and I singing and humming together in the kitchen. Our lives so intertwined right now. But yet I am on my side and he is on his. Walking different paths in different paces. Sometimes singing the same tune.

Myself and roses in the gardens of Somerleyton Hall, end August 2023.